A Year Of Deeper Self-Compassion: Unforgettable Takeaways From 2023
If this year posed one question it was this: What will it take for me to rise above?
Image description: hot air balloons of various colors and shapes rise amidst the background of a blue sky
The past year has been overwhelming for many of us, both globally and in our personal lives. It is acceptable to have complex emotions, and it is not necessary to acknowledge only the positive aspects while hiding the negatives.
I have been reflecting on the past year by reviewing my memories, calendar, photo album, and spending reports. This process has allowed me to identify my highs and lows, and the lessons I have learned from them, ultimately informing my approach for 2024.
Here are my top 10 unforgettable insights from 2023:
1. Accomplishments often overshadow hard work
Behind my published articles and awards are countless efforts to avoid burning out while studying the topic of burnout. I thought I was ready to pursue the position of Full Professor, but my body told me to take a step back, and I listened.
2. There is no overnight success
Throughout the year, I dedicated myself to a lifelong dream that I am not yet ready to share. This dream has taken me on a journey of deep self-reflection, which I am still in the midst of. It requires continuous effort and patience.
3. No one is insulated from the human experience
I experienced triggers, panic attacks, and grief. When I could no longer suppress these emotions, I discovered new ways to express and release them. I sought therapy, engaged in shadow work, practiced meditation, and learned how to acknowledge and honor my resistance. I established healthier boundaries and learned from my mistakes. I also unlearned many things that I thought I knew for sure. This process of learning and unlearning is ongoing.
4. Some problems are more extensive than we can fathom
For months, I have prayed silently for the suffering of people I had never met. I continue to educate myself, listen, and seek understanding, recognizing that we are all connected. I lean into my spiritual life for guidance on how to show up and contribute towards good.
5. Healthy boundaries are hard work
We must protect what we value. Periods of solitude for introspection gave me a deeper understanding of my purpose and the importance of honoring my needs. I learned that my role is not to fix others, including myself.
6. Grey skies do not negate the presence of the sun
While going through depression, I had the most fulfilling semester of teaching since the beginning of the pandemic. I found engaging authentically with my students, tapping into my strengths of curiosity and compassion. I did not hide my journey from my coaching clients or keynote audiences. Surprisingly, my community welcomed my vulnerability, expressing that my struggles made me more relatable and human.
7. Slowing down is a challenging but essential practice in a culture prioritizing constant growth
I decided to scale back my business, stepping back from overwhelming demands to achieve healing, focus, and consistency.
8. We carry out our existence amidst uncertainty
I celebrated as loved ones triumphed over cancer, but I also mourned the loss of others. I discovered that some relationships are straightforward while others are complex and mysterious. Many relationships fall somewhere in between, constantly shifting as we evolve.
9. The hustle will break you
I realized that staying busy to an extreme compromises my impact. I can’t go on like this forever without negatively impacting my health or important relationships. Also, the pursuit of perfection is a myth that reduces me to playing small.
10. Be flexible, humble, and willing to adapt
Nothing I accomplished this year happened in a straightforward, linear manner. The greater the goal was, the more important it was to seek guidance early and often. Also, it was impossible to be consistent in all areas of my life; sometimes, letting go is necessary for progress.
2023 is a year that forced me to evolve, teaching me countless lessons I never asked for. It called for a deeper level of self-compassion and acceptance than I had ever imagined was possible. Despite the challenges, I am grateful for the growth and transformation. I would not be who I am without this journey around the sun.
Looking ahead
In 2024, I will prioritize rest, focus, and honoring my capacity. I am committed to showing up for myself and pursuing my dreams.If you would like to reflect on your own experiences in 2023, here are some approaches that I found helpful:
1. Review your weekly calendar to understand how you spend your time. The Pareto principle states that 80% of our outcomes are determined by 20% of our efforts. What were your most impactful engagements? How can you better utilize your time?
2. Participate in annual review workshops, such as those offered by online coworking spaces like Flown and Caveday. These workshops can help you process the past year and prepare for the future. You can find a replay of the Caveday workshop and templates at www.caveday.org/annualreview.
3. Look at the photos you captured each quarter. These photos can tell a story of the places you explored, the people you spent time with, moments of happiness, and times when you prioritized self-care, even when it was challenging.
4. Examine your spending reports from your bank and budget software. They will provide insight into where you focused your resources and whether it aligned with your priorities. Identify areas you can adjust to support your goals and intentions.
Resources
Are you interested in support as you plan for 2024? If so, you can watch the replay of the Caveday workshop mentioned above or attend Flown's upcoming Big Picture workshop on January 8, 2024 at 10:30am PST. This workshop is free, but registration is required. You can register at https://buff.ly/3GYkeVF.
If you want a vibrant and supportive online coworking community, join me at Flown! I am a lifetime member and happy to share my code for a free trial and a 25% membership discount: https://buff.ly/4aFza8Q
If you are experiencing struggles with your emotional health, please contact 988 suicide and crisis lifeline.